Monday, January 19, 2015

When I'm Sixty-Four. . . .

Wow, five since my last post.  I'd say it's a good indicator of where my head has been in the last few weeks- certainly not in a blogging mode.

We had a lovely Christmas, both my brother and Shannon were here.  I celebrated a milestone three weeks after Christmas- referenced in the title!  It feels a bit weird, because I don't feel that old.  My mother used to talk about wondering who that old lady was in the mirror, because she didn't feel like her inside.  Now, I can relate.  I'm grateful to be told regularly that I don't look my age, and my health is good so I don't have to act it either!

I have also been doing a lot of thinking about the coming year, and where I want to take my creative life.  Writing about my inner conversations is not easy for me- forgive me if this sounds disjointed.

The creative aspects of my life are a refuge, they are a large part of what helps keep me feeling young.  I have a community of friends who share this passion to create, both online and 'in the flesh'.  I treasure my time alone in the studio also- I find the solitude rejuvenating.  Our culture and time bombards us daily with information, noise- it is nice to seclude myself and just turn all that off.

I have noticed over the past few months that the drive and focus with respect to my fiber art are lessening.  Granted, the soap making (another creative outlet, I would add) has impacted that.  I don't want to give up the fiber art, but it is no longer the sole outlet for my creative urges.  How to balance them?  I'm not very good at that; when I get interested in something I tend to immerse myself and go at it full bore.

What conclusions have I reached?  I'd already taken one step a couple of years ago, when I decided to quit trying every surface design and quilting technique under the sun and limit myself to those that make my heart sing.  It has made for some interesting conversations in my small local art quilt group, as several members are polar opposite.  We are still working on making the group a safe haven for all of us.

I think it is time to take the idea of limitations to other parts of my creative life.  I'm hoping that this will mean my work becomes more authentically "me"- a goal I have been striving for.  It will mean backing out of some arenas.  It may mean taking the time to recharge by finishing a more traditional quilt sitting in my UFO pile.  It will mean asking the same question consistently- will this take me further along the path I want to go?
 I hope you wish me well on this fork in my road.


Libby Fife said...

Congratulations on your milestone! a very young sixty four:)

Good luck on your quest for balance and the way that feels good to you for expressing yourself. Maybe a little alone time with some directed questions is the ticket. Let me know when you figure it out:)

Renate said...

Your introspective journey does not sound disjointed at all. I commend you for the courage to do so and for being able to focus on where you wish your path to go! I wish you every success wherever that path may lead. I will follow your journey and cheer you along the way.